Season 1; Episode 5: Kong for a Day

Season 1; Episode 5: Kong for a Day

Hoo-Hah! It's time for another analysis on Donkey Kong Country! We move on to episode 5, Kong for a Day, which is probably one of my least liked episodes in this whole series. After I review over each and every episode, only then can I make the sure decision of my most hated episode. Anyway, time to peel out this monstrosity of a cartoon.

We open up to Funky's place, with some disco background music, and all the Kongs dancing around.

Sorry. We spent so much on the motion-capture, we couldn't afford any real dancers.

Oh, and King K. Rool and General Klump are there too, enjoying some refreshments.

Blue-flavored juice! With super swirly bendy straws!

Cranky stops dancing and tries to get everyone to listen to him. The three dancing simians ignore him, while King K. Rool makes off-sided insults. Cranky gets peeved, and tries once more, and it works.

I'm very curious as to why Diddy is underneath Bluster.

Turns out, this whole shindig is actually the Annual Kongo Bongo Ceasefire, or as Cranky words it, a love-fest. Ick. That double entendre.

Cranky has called for this silence to allow Donkey Kong, their future ruler, to speak a few words of wisdom for them all. That is, if DK could stop stuffing his face with bananas.

"I don't have a problem! Honest!"

DK only manages to get a few muffled words out, which confuses pretty much everyone. Diddy interprets it as for wanting world-peace, and to not look down on the Kremlings too much. You probably could've worded that last bit a little better, Diddy. They're right behind you.

Bluster looks upon a stuffed DK, and starts criticizing his leadership role that he was meant to play. Diddy Kong begins defending Donkey Kong, saying that Bluster is only jealous that he will never become the future king of Kongo Bongo. Bluster agrees that he may not be the future ruler, but instead makes a point that he will eventually be the future owner of Bluster Barrel Works. He then takes a jab at Diddy, saying that he is really the only chimp on this Island without any future. Upon hearing the truth, Diddy goes berserk.

Pahah! That was actually good, Bluster. If you keep this up, you'll easily become one of my favorite characters.

Funky reassures Diddy by stating that he also has no future. You know, besides being the sole pilot on the entire Island, and being a pretty good mechanic. Donkey Kong also counsels Diddy by saying that he'll always be his best buddy and sidekick. Kind of not helping, DK, but I like your honesty.

Diddy admits defeat, and tells DK that, although he is quite accepted to the fact that he'll always be his sidekick, that he will never truly be anything more than just that. Sheesh. That's kind of a low-blow to yourself Diddy, but your later actions in this episode still don't make me feel any sympathy towards you.

Cranky goes up to K. Rool to gloat in his face, saying that as long Donkey Kong remains their future ruler, the Crystal Coconut will never be his. King K. Rool tries to detest his claims, but to no avail. Cranky walks away, and Klump questions as to why they are participating in this Annual Ceasefire. King K. Rool tells him that he is using this opportunity to launch a suprise attack on the Kongs, and Klump asks why he wasn't informed about this sortie. King K. Rool replies that if Klump had known, he certainly wouldn't have been able to keep a secret.

"Would someone get this camera out of my face?!"

King K. Rool's plan to conquer the apes this time, is to get everybody to turn against Donkey Kong, so that he will be exiled. Once he's finished explaining everything, Candy Kong appears on the scene, and Donkey Kong lights up from her arrival.

"Sorry I'm late! I had to finish tying up Dixie in the cellar."

With Candy here, King K. Rool is ready to launch his super secret weapon of destruction: A Banana Peel.

"Really, sir? That's it? A cliche gag?"

King K. Rool tosses the banana peel, and Candy slips over. Hah.

Candy Kong recovers from her fall, and instantly starts bashing on DK for making her fall. Okay, how is it Donkey Kong's fault for making you fall? All the Kongs around here eat bananas, so it could've been anyone's peel that you slipped on.

If yelling at DK, for something he didn't do, wasn't enough, Candy actually calls off their little date together, and for him to never call or drop in on her ever again. Jeeze. This might do DK some good, actually. Who needs a high-strung weasel like that?

Yeah, that's right! Walk away! Like a little orange-furred bitch!

Of course, since DK is incapable of having a spine towards Candy, Donkey Kong just faces his un-deserved punishment sorrowfully.

King K. Rool starts chuckling at DK's dilemma, stating that the first phase of his plan is a success. I don't really know about that, K. Rool. I'm pretty sure Candy will get over the whole slip-up in about a day, or about 12 minutes.

K. Rool gets more indepth with his plan, saying that the operation calls for every Kong on the Island to get furious with Donkey Kong, that Cranky is resorted to crowning a new future ruler. Wait, Cranky can do that? I thought the Inka Dinka Idol chose the future ruler. Or the Coconut. Or whatever! I'm pretty sure Cranky can't just decide a new ruler just like that. Oh, but does this episode go against such beliefs.

Since K. Rool knows the only competent ape on the entire Island is Donkey Kong, their invasion plan could be set forth once he's out of the picture. By the end, King K. Rool will deemed the true ruler of the entire Island. A brilliant idea, with too many circumstances needed to actually achieve such goal, but still a very nice plan at that.

We later join Donkey Kong, who is sulking by the edge of the pier, when K. Rool walks over to him. King K. Rool asks if DK is having a nice day of Ceasfire, to which Donkey Kong obviously replies no. DK tells K. Rool that Candy has ditched her, and K. Rool tries to cheer up DK by saying that she'll eventually come around. King K. Rool tells Donkey that he simply needs to get his mind off of her for the time being. When Donkey Kong refuses to comply with his advice, King K. Rool suggests that he goes surfing.

Bubbly-Bubbly-Bubble-Butt

Donkey Kong submits to the idea, and gets his spirits up to go catch some waves. He rushes away to Funky's place, as King K. Rool rejoices over how swimmingly his plan is coming along.

Banana-Transition to Funky's place, we see Donkey Kong all prepped to go surfing with Funky's best board. Funky Kong is unsure of this at first, but ultimately allows DK to use it on account that he keeps it safe. He actually tells Donkey Kong that the board is his soulmate. Kind of weird, but then again, Funky is all-kinds of weird.

"We've bonded."

We then see Donkey Kong set Funky's board on a stand, and DK takes a quick dip into the water. I'm guessing just to get the adrenaline going before he sets out for a wave. While Donkey is out for a swim, King K. Rool and Krusha rush in and are ready to steal the surfboard.

Hey wait a minute, Krusha's back! We haven't seen him since the first episode! He starts appearing in pretty much every episode after this one, and he's always a treat to have, so happies!

Anywho, King K. Rool tries to get Krusha to steal the surfboard, insulting his brain intelligence in the process. Krusha doesn't take to kindly to his words, and refuses to comply unless K. Rool apolgizes. King K. Rool sarcastically pardons his manners, and insults Krusha for being a smarty-pants. Heh.

The two steal the board, and dash off before Donkey Kong has a chance to see them. Donkey Kong comes up from the water, and notices that the surfboard is gone, with a very feeble expression of fraught.

"Oh no."

We fade to black, and open to black, while a reggae lullaby plays in the background. Funky was sleeping, and DK is trying to wake him up. Also, Funky's eyelids are transparent.

That's disturbing.

Donkey Kong wakes up Funky, who falls right onto the floor. He gets right back up, and angrily asks where his board is. Donkey Kong tells him that it's gone, and Funky becomes enraged. About as furious as a mellow surfer ape can become, anyway. Donkey Kong tries to tell Funky the truth, that somebody stole it, but Funky doesn't believe any of it, for whatever reason. Since Funky won't listen to his reasons, Donkey Kong just walks away sadly.

We fade to our commercial break, and open back to Donkey Kong still moping around the jungle, since now Funky and Candy are steamed at him.

Also, we get a silent introduction to our last Kong: Dixie Kong!

The Great Donkey Kong: Reduced to a third-wheel.

Yes, Dixie Kong is in this show. Makes sense, seeing as DKC2 was released not too long before this show went into production. About a year apart, I'm guessing. She also looks much different from her usual game-self. Aside from her pink beret, that is. Her green eyes are now just pure black, like Diddy's, but still retain their circular shape. Her shirt is now baby-blue, rather than pink, with a flower placed on the front; Much like Tiny Kong's dress scheme, who was designed with Dixie in mind, I might add. Dixie also has tanned fur, as apposed to Diddy and Donkey's brown fur. She no longer has feminine eyelashes or earrings, her knee-pads are gone, and her hair design is slightly altered. Finally, her signature ponytail has been massively shrunk to compensate for the animation limitations they had at the time.

As to those wondering on just why It has taken Dixie about 5 episodes to make it into the series, when she's usually part of the major Kong Trio in the games, is because Dixie Kong doesn't have a big role in this show at all. Much like Diddy, she doesn't help Donkey Kong too much, and her appearances are sporadic throughout the series. She will usually be seen accompanying Candy or Diddy, or be in with a crowd from time to time, but she won't have any major roles in any episode, save for one limelight episode later this season. It really stinks that they would leave out her character, but I suppose it does save her from most of the wrath of the writers. She never gets as bad as Candy Kong, but she never develops any personality either. Oh well.

Anyway, back to the plot. Diddy and Dixie try to cheer DK up, by making him realize that they are still hanging around with him.

"Bosom Buddy!"

DK is made content from their kind words, and Diddy then tells them that he has to leave. Donkey Kong then says this snippet:

"I'll walk the rest of the way with

MY

BUDDY

DICKS

"..."

"?!?"

Pahaha. Okay, I get it writers, you want to make some allusion to Diddy's nickname: "Dids".

I mean, for the most part, the nickname kind of works. It rolls off the tongue quicker, and it gets Dixie's name across. Still, people can interpret it as the aforementioned word above. I'm pretty sure the censors today wouldn't allow that for a kids show. But, I digress. If they want to keep calling her "Dix", then fine by me.

I'll try not to think too hard about it.

Donkey and Dixie say goodbye to Diddy, and the two go off. We transition into King K. Rool's Factory, where we see K. Rool and Krusha. K. Rool asks for Krusha's imitation skill, and Krusha follows through, and he does an imitation of King K. Rool. Of course, this isn't the voice that K. Rool had wanted; He instead wanted Donkey Kong's. Krusha understands, and switches voice actors.

"Bananas, bananas, bananas. I've always got bananas on the brain."

King K. Rool is impressed, and is ready to move on to phase 3 of his plan: Alienate Diddy and Dixie from Donkey Kong.

We join back with Donkey and Dixie, who sitting at a log in the jungle.

"Sooo...."
"So....?"
"....Nevermind."

Donkey Kong is still grieving over the loss of his girlfriend, while Dixie ever remains the optimistic. Donkey Kong states that he used to bring Candy over to this spot, and Dixie tries to hearten DK that he'll meet up with someone, someday.

Then, Krusha peeps from behind the tree, and starts flirting on Dixie, all while using Donkey Kong's voice.

Stranger Danger!

Dixie Kong gets freaked out by Donkey's sudden allure over her, and asks why she's hitting on him, even though he knows she's with Diddy. Dixie pouts, and Krusha continues making creepy comments. By comments, I mean he's asking for Dixie to put a lip-lock on him. What the heck?!

And then, this happens:

"Come on. Put a lip-lock on me, Dixie!"

"That chump-chimp Diddy will never know!"

"OH SWEET BANANA LORD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR PUPILS?!"

You see, there are characters like Donkey Kong, and Candy Kong, who have actual functional eyelids. Then, there are characters like Klump and Diddy with blinking pupils, that tend to shrink whenever the expression calls for it. And then, there's Dixie. Dixie has pupils that constantly shrink and grow in size, and it just looks so dang creepy.

Dixie Kong somehow doesn't catch that Donkey Kong's mouth wasn't even moving the entire time, and just gets mad at him. She gets off the log, and stomps away, telling DK that she's going to talk to Diddy about this. Krusha pulls off one last impression, by dissing Diddy to peeve Dixie even more.

"This is rather peculiar. My inner thoughts are much more vocal than usual."

Dixie gets pissed and stomps right back up to DK, telling him that he's probably the worst friend ever, and that he's unfit to be their future ruler. You know, all of this could've been resolved if any of the two had actually looked behind themselves. Oh well.

Donkey Kong is left alone and confused as to what just happened, and we transition back to DK's home. Diddy has gotten the news from Dixie that DK was hitting on her, and now DK is taking the tiny chimp's heat.

Diddy complains that Donkey Kong can no longer be trusted anymore, and Donkey Kong tries to conform with Diddy's issues, saying that he never even wanted Dixie. Diddy takes this an insult and storms away in the elevator.

What the heck. None of the Kongs who got steamed at DK tried to reason with him, or anything! What kind of friends are they? Terrible ones, that's what.

Except for Bluster. He was never DK's friend to begin with.

"Oh, mirror. You're my only friend now."

Donkey Kong is not even sure what to make out of all the Rambi-shit that he's gone through today.

We transition to Cranky's Cabin, where Klump and two Kritters are there, ready to ruin the place. Cranky himself is standing while sleeping, so he won't notice a thing. The Kritters fire their Klaptrap Blasters, and the entire cabin exterior is eaten away.

How many times can you say: "WAKA-WAKA-WAKA"

And to make it so Donkey Kong is the first one that comes to mind, Klump lays down a single banana peel. He and his troops then move out. Cranky wakes up, and sees that his home is ruined. He wonders just who could've done such a deed, and takes the banana-peel bait.

Some time later, Donkey Kong is seen walking to Cranky's, with Diddy still accompanying him for whatever reason. Diddy tells DK that he is not speaking to him, but DK notes that he just did. Then, the two see the damage done to Cranky's Cabin, and the two rush right in to ask Cranky what happened.

Cranky accuses Donkey Kong of this crime, using the banana skin on the floor as evidence. Diddy quickly takes Cranky's side, and accuses DK as well. Donkey Kong actually notes that the banana still has a chunk left in it, which would signify that the banana peel isn't his. Cranky doesn't care, and strips DK of his ruling-rights.

Okay, this is easily one of the worst scenes in this entire series, just for how stupid the entire scenario is, alone. Firstly, Donkey Kong is not the only Kong who eats bananas. It could've been anybody on the island that left the peel there. DK even sees that the banana isn't finished. Cranky and Diddy know about Donkey's large appetite, so wouldn't this come as an oddity to any of them? Secondly, why in the right mind would Cranky just assume that Donkey Kong would want to wreck his entire house? He hasn't done a single thing to DK, and yet he's the first one to blame. How would he even go about destroying his entire cabin, without waking him up? What tools would he have to destroy the whole thing in one sweep? And finally, why of all things would Cranky just exile DK right on the spot? Far as we know, Cranky doesn't even know about all the conflict that DK has been causing around the island. Why didn't he just make him rebuild the whole house? You're throwing away Kongo Bongo's only army, for Squawks' sake!

Seriously, fuck this scene. Too many plotholes, and every Kong on this show is an idiot.

Donkey Kong tells Cranky that he can't just take away his future, seeing as he found the Coconut, and that his face is on it. Cranky opens the Coconut safe, and wouldn't you know it?

IT'S HIDEOUS.

Diddy annoyingly rejoices over his new bright future, and Cranky tells DK that he is banished to the White Mountains, forever. Jeeze! He's your offspring (At least, in this canon, I think he is...), and you're just gonna send him off to die, just because he ruined your house? That's just cruel.

From hero to zero, in less than 15 minutes.

Congrats writers, I genuinely feel bad for our protagonist. Not because he's done anything good, mind you. Heck, DK literally has no backbone in this episode. He just takes all the lashings from every Kong, and doesn't do a thing about it. But no, I feel sympathy for the main character, because every other character in this episode has been a mindless jerkass, DK really is the only character left to root for. That's pretty low.

Donkey Kong mopes out of the cabin, and Cranky pours even more salt in the wound, by tossing him a briefcase.

Banana-Transition to Funky's Flights, where we see Funky ready to haul DK to the White Mountains. Wait, he actually went to Funky? DK really does have no spine in this episode. Funky flies the plane away, and we fade to the White Mountains. Funky literally drops Donkey off, and DK is left lying on the snowtop. We finally get into our first musical number, with DK as the sole singer!

Incase you're not familiar with this show, Donkey Kong has an amazing singing voice actor. He really makes most of the musical segments in this show worth-while.

This song is about Donkey Kong being confused over what he did wrong, and that he's a loser now.

"Depressed Kong, at your service!"

After our commercial break, we join back with K. Rool and Klump, who are pleased to know that their plan actually succeeded. King K. Rool's next action is to raid the Barrel Works. Again? Really? What good does a bunch of exploding barrels do you, if you have Klaptraps that can eat practically anything?!

Klump actually brings up this point, asking why they don't just steal the Crystal Coconut instead, but King K. Rool just says it's all part of the plan.

"We still need to fill up the last 5 minutes of this episode. What choice do I have?"

King K. Rool laughs, and it seems as though Cranky has been spying on King K. Rool this whole entire time. Wait, he can do that? Why doesn't he always do that?

With this opportunity at grasp, Cranky decides that it's time for Diddy to take his position as future ruler, and save them. That is, if Cranky actually had any fate in Diddy. As it turns out, it was Cranky who put Diddy's face in the Coconut! Don't ask how, or when! He just did!

Also, his cabin is fixed.

"Oh no! It's the curse of bad-show design!"

Looks as though Cranky has finally come to his senses, and regrets banishing DK away. We transition to Diddy and Dixie at the log area we saw earlier, with Dixie congratulating Diddy on his new refined status. Diddy accepts all the praise, and Dixie offers a smooch for the new king.

Her face is fucking terrifying.

Just as Diddy and Dixie are about get it on, Cranky appears in hologram form to break it off. Diddy derides Cranky for his awful timing, and Cranky tells Diddy to get his behind to the Barrel Works, as the Kremlings are marching over there as they speak. Diddy idiotically asks why, and Cranky reminds him that he is the future ruler, and that it's his job to save the entire island, even if it means risking your very life. Diddy is filled with distress.

I suppose Cranky just lied to Diddy just then, in the slim chance that Diddy actually does do something about the Kremlings. Spoilers! He doesn't!

We then get into our second musical segement, and it has Diddy singing again.

It's an entire song of Diddy telling us that he really is just a sidekick, and he was not meant for such responsibility. It's really pathetic.

How did Diddy's character go so wrong?

Cut to the Bluster Barrel Works. Bluster is asking Candy for a date, now that Donkey Kong is out of the picture. Candy still declines his offer, and immediately after, Klump and two Kritters appear at the door. The Kremlings are here to raid the place.

Klump, there's something wrong with your left pupil.

 The Kritters fire the Klaptraps, and all the stocked barrels get chomped away. Candy and Bluster run and hide behind the conveyor belt, Candy exclaiming that she wish Donkey Kong was here, with Bluster actually agreeing. Oh yeah, did Candy and Bluster ever catch the news that DK was banished? It's implied that they did, but still.

Klump makes a terrible joke, and Diddy dashes between the him and a Kritter, ready to save the day.

I've probably should've said this in episode 1, but Klump's croc-nipples are disturbing.

Diddy orders the the Kremlings to scram, but Klump isn't phased out at the slightest. I'll give credit where it's due, and give props to Diddy for actually showing up to at least try to save the day.

Klump orders a Kritter to fire at Diddy, and the Klaptraps begin munching on Diddy's feet.

Diddy was then eaten. It was rather gruesome.

Diddy runs outside to flee from the tiny pests, and Cranky shows up, via hologram, and asks what's going on. Diddy begs Cranky to get Donkey Kong back,  Cranky finally gives in, and transports away to go fetch him.

We join back with Donkey Kong, who is still on the same mountain peak.

"I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE."

Donkey Kong is starving for some bananas, and spots some banana trees near a cliff. DK rushes to them, only to go right through them and off the cliff. Turns out, the banana trees were just a mirage. Wah-wah.

Donkey Kong lands in the snow below, and quibbles over the whole mirage, and how his life is unfair. Cranky appears, and tells Donkey Kong to get over himself and come help them at the Barrel Factory. Donkey Kong says that Diddy will surely deal with it, but Cranky snaps DK back to reality.

You know, I'm suprised DK isn't even mad at the slightest. I mean, this grouch just sent you off to die, and DK is just acting like the whole entire thing truly is his fault.

Donkey Kong is unable to comply with Cranky's request, saying that he has been left powerless for haven eaten no bananas all day. Cranky justifies this response by opening the suitcase beside DK, revealing it to be bananas. Of course.

"I wasn't serious on the whole exile thing, anyhow!"

As you see here, Cranky's hologram can interact with physical objects. This actually contradicts a minor plot-point in a later episode, which states Cranky can't do anything in his hologram form. Food for thought.

Donkey Kong is pleased by this, and is goes to eat up. We fade to the factory again, where Candy and Bluster have been taken hostage. Candy asks if anyone is going to actually save them, to which a Kritter declines.

Diddy is still running from the Klaptraps, calling for Donkey Kong's help. Donkey Kong miraculously shows up in due time. Boy, that was fast.

He's bigger! Faster! And stronger too!
He's the first member, of the DK Crew!

The Kremlings are suprised, and the Kongs are overjoyed. Donkey Kong growls towards Klump, while Klump cowers. Donkey Kong simply 'boos' them, and the Kremlings go running for the hills. Well, that was underwhelming.

Diddy has somehow gotten the Klaptraps off him, and he congratulates DK for a job well done. Candy and Bluster cheer him on, as we transition to our final scene at Cranky's Cabin.

"It's not pretty...but it's right."

Cranky has changed the Diddy head in the Coconut back to Donkey's, and Diddy is relieved at having no responsibilty. That he is perfectly okay with being Donkey Kong's sidekick, and to never aspire to be anything more. Great morals, Diddy.

Donkey Kong then goes on about being top-banana, and how he wouldn't be the best if it weren't for the person right after him. Diddy warns DK that his bananas were the entire reason he got in trouble in the first place, even though it technically wasn't. Donkey and Diddy then spout some one-liner that has no relation to entire episode at all, and we pan up to the starry sky and treetops. Fade to black, and that's the end of this episode.

So, yeah. Nobody ever finds out that King K. Rool was actually responsible for all those crimes, Funky is probably still peeved with DK, since his surfboard is probably gone forever. Dixie is probably busy getting a restraining order filled out, and Donkey Kong doesn't have a care in the world for what just happened that day. Who cares that everyone practically wanted me dead for things I didn't even do, when I can just make it up for them in the end! They can't even function without me, so who cares!

This episode was horrible. The next one isn't exactly a big-hitter either.