Season 1; Episode 6: Raiders of the Lost Banana

Season 1; Episode 6: Raiders of the Lost Banana

Hoo-hah! It's time for more Donkey Kong Country! After last episode, I could sure use a breather with an amazing plot for once. Episode 6 doesn't do a great job at complying with my desire, but it's still better, nevertheless.

Our story today starts us off at King K. Rool's Factory. Polly Roger, from episode 3, starts chattering and swaying around like he's had one too many drinks.

Every parrot in the lair gettin' tipsy.

King K. Rool tries to get his attention, while Polly starts badmouthing every Kremling on the scene. Before a Kritter and Klump pulverize Polly into bird-meat, King K. Rool tells them that Polly is actually vital to getting the Crystal Coconut.

K. Rool shows Polly a crude sketch of the Crystal Coconut safe, and orders him to go get it. Even Polly is amazed at how overly simple this entire plan is.

"Bwark! Is this fat-croc serious? Bwarak!"

Since Klump and K. Rool's goons haven't suceeded in getting him the Crystal Coconut, he supposes having this bird fetch wouldn't be a harmful attempt. I'm not exactly sure if this is actually a smart move on King K. Rool's behalf, since General Klump can be rather competent from time to time. Oh well. Who knows? Maybe a double-crossing bird is better than a team of dimwitted Kritters.

King K. Rool arranges for Polly to use his air mobility to snatch the Coconut, while Klump and his Kritters surveillance the ground area. Polly flies off, while an upset Klump and two Kritters follow behind.

We transition to Cranky's Cabin, where Cranky is deciding between two identical-flasks. One contains herbal tea, while the other contains a dangerous compound that can burn right through Cranky's intestines in a nanosecond.

I love the tone and gesture given by Cranky when he's explaining the situation.

"Hmm...maybe I should've labeled these beforehand."

Cranky makes a smart-decision by asking the Crystal Coconut which of the two beakers contains the acid. The Crystal Coconut lets out a trail of smoke, and selects the beaker on the right of Cranky. Cranky Kong is pleased, and turns around to thank the Coconut, and that's when Polly gets his talons on the Crystal. Cranky's delight quickly turns sour, as Polly lifts off with the jewel, and flies away.

We then go to DK's Treehut, with some re-used disco music playing in the background. Donkey Kong is trying to learn to dance, while Diddy observes. Donkey Kong has two left-feet, and can't dance for anything. Diddy tells DK that he has to learn so that he can woo Candy on their anniversary, but it's no use.

"Doo-Dee-Doo! I'm a ballerina!"

Donkey Kong slips on a banana, and goes right into the Barrel Elevator, making it fall right down the chute, and crashing DK on the ground below. Diddy asks if he's okay, to which he replies with a yes. Donkey Kong now needs to find something else that he can present Candy with, since the whole dancing thing isn't really working out for him.

Cranky Kong comes over to deliever the bad news to DK. Donkey and Diddy then set off to go get back the Coconut from Polly Roger, before he manages to get back to King K. Rool.

Donkey and Diddy are on the look-out for Polly, in the jungle trees. They spot Polly flying, and use vines to chase after him. Donkey Kong is confident with being able to catch up to him, but eats his words by crashing into a tree.

The first of many tree-gags.

Diddy stops and goes down to DK to tell him that Polly is getting away. Donkey Kong is dazed at the moment, and we cut to Polly Roger going into a temple. This temple is the Ancient Temple of Inka Dinka Doo. Inka Dinka Doo has been mentioned in the previous episodes, but this is actually the debut of the Idol himself.

DK and Diddy are searching in the halls of the temple for Polly, and once he's spotted, the chase begins again. We then go into a Scooby-Doo-Esque hall chase sequence, until Donkey Kong catches up to Polly, and an off-screen beating is heard.

Inka-Dinka-Doo! Where are You?

Donkey Kong has gotten the Coconut, and he and Diddy are walking off to bring it back to Cranky. Polly pops out from the right corridor, sore from the pummeling.

Donkey Kong notes that the temple isn't as bad as Cranky made it out to be, however, DK steps on a button on the floor, and income the booby traps. It's mostly just spears clipping right out of the walls, and DK and Diddy manage to outrun them all and get stuck in a deadend. While it seems that there's nowhere else to go, a trapdoor opens below the two, and they are sent plummeting into a secret chamber. In the room, there is a pedestal with a banana on it. Donkey Kong quickly notices it, and tosses away the Crystal Coconut for it. Diddy catches the Crystal Coconut, and ridicules Donkey for throwing away the Coconut for a simple banana. DK just replies that he is hungry, but then notices that the banana he has is only gold. Then, the sparks ignite in DK's head, and he realizes he can use this golden banana for Candy's anniversary gift. Diddy's face seems to agree at first, but it changes to frown once a menacing voice is heard in the chamber.

This voice is coming from the previously-sleeping Idol of Inka Dinka Doo.

Yeesh. It's kind of creepy.
If that's what they were going for, then they suceeded.

The Idol of Inka Dinka Doo is a recurring character in the series, and provides as a prophet and moral guardian for the Island. He speaks in broken sentences, and usually confuses the heck out of all the characters it interacts with.

It seems as though the idol is angry, so Donkey and Diddy make a mad dash out of the temple, whilst avoiding the traps off-screen. We fade to our first commercial break.

We return with Polly and King K. Rool, with Polly telling K. Rool the failure of his mission. Polly Roger states that if Klump and his crew had not had lost him, then maybe he would've stood a better chance at keeping the Coconut. The parrot and croc start bickering, until K. Rool shuts them both up, and saying that they're both incompetent idiots. He kicks the two of them out, and we rejoin DK and Diddy at Cranky's cabin.

Cranky is feeling a bit better over having the Crystal Coconut back, but is upset with Donkey Kong, since he had woken the sleeping idol of Inka Dinka Doo. DK tries to tell him to not worry, saying that neither him or Diddy touched a thing, but Cranky Kong notices the banana in DK's hand, and asks about it. Donkey Kong says that it's a little something he picked up for Candy, and the banana begins glowing.

Ooooh! Bananaaa!

The cabin starts to rumble, and an encylopedia of bananica pops right out of the top shelf. Cranky goes to investigate it and find out about the banana, while General Klump watches from the front door. Cue our first musical number.

Donkey, Diddy, and Cranky start dancing around like a bunch of fools, while Cranky sings of the danger DK has just caused all of them.

What is this.

Also, something worth noting, Diddy still has an arrow pierced through his hat. It's a nice detail.

It's the curse of the Golden Banana!

Our forced musical segment ends, and Cranky explains that the banana is cursed, and that if DK doesn't return it back to the temple, it will bring bad luck to them all. Donkey Kong understands, and he and Diddy leave the cabin, DK disappointed with having no gift for Candy after all.

Klump had overheard the entire spiel, and is sure this information will get him on K. Rool's good side once again.

Fade to the pier area, with Donkey and Diddy walking down the boardwalk. Donkey Kong says that it's absolute rubbish that a Golden Banana, which is a supposed relic of a talking idol, is cursed. Candy comes over to the two, with DK delighted, and Diddy dismayed on what's going to happen next.

This is actually one of Diddy's more tolerable episodes. Mostly because the plot doesn't really involve him too much.

Candy Kong sees the golden banana that DK has, and asks if it's her anniversary gift. Donkey Kong idiotically tells her that it is, and hands it over. Diddy says off-handedly that the banana is cursed, to which Candy ignores and thanks Donkey, graciously, for the gift.

"Now I can have fun in the dark!"

Candy gives DK a peck on the cheek, and leaves, saying she has to go to work. Donkey Kong is fawning over how Candy told him she was his "Love-Monkey". Diddy snaps DK back to reality, saying that he just gaved a cursed relic to his girlfriend, DK remorses over his actions, while Diddy looks down on him, in exasperation.

Fade to the Bluster Barrel Works, with Bluster telling Candy she is 2 minutes late. Candy says that she was getting her present from Donkey Kong, and she shows Bluster the banana. Bluster scoffs over how DK got her a regular banana, but Candy tells him to look again, and see that the banana is actually pure gold. The banana starts glowing again, and a tremor starts wrecking havoc in the factory. By that, I mean a pile of barrels start rolling towards the two. Bluster flees out of the factory, and into his barrelcopter, with Candy stomping out of the factory right afterwards. Candy approaches Bluster in anger, since he had actually stepped on her head on the way out.

Apparently, the factory has been destroyed by the earthquake (Even though it's clearly standing), and Candy demands Bluster that the least he could do is offer her a ride home. Bluster agrees, and the two take off.

"I always smile when I'm angry!"

While in the sky, Bluster is relieved over how they escaped unscathed, and Candy agrees. Candy is also happy that she managed to hold on to her gift, and just like that, the golden banana begins glowing again. The barrelcopter malfunctions, and the two are sent plummeting down.

Meanwhile, Cranky is dancing to some disco music, when the barrelcopter crashes right through the front door. Cranky tells Bluster to get the copter out of his house, to which Bluster agrees to do. Cranky spots the golden banana in Candy's hand, and asks where she got it from. Candy replies that DK gave it to her, and Cranky restates the obvious.

Back with Klump, he is relaying the news that he acquired earlier, which is that Donkey Kong is currently in possession of the golden banana of Inka Dinka Doo. King K. Rool is pleased with this news, seeing as he has the chance of gathering two powerful relics to fufill his dastardly deeds.

"Do you realize the things I could do with the Crystal Coconut in one hand, and the Golden Banana in the other?!"

" . . . "

King K. Rool orders General Klump to get the golden banana, to which Klump complies.

Donkey and Diddy are walking over to Cranky's cabin, with Donkey Kong still unsure on what to do about Candy's gift. They see the damage done to Cranky's cabin, while Candy stomps towards them. Candy is upset over the insane events that happened to her today, to which Donkey Kong tells her that the golden banana is cursed. Candy is not pleased with DK reply, since Cranky told her the same exact thing. Diddy tries to convince her that the banana is indeed cursed, but Candy doesn't buy any of it, for whatever reason. She doesn't seem to believe in any of the ancient curses mumbo-jumbo. On an island with a sentient relic, and a coconut-resembling jewel that has the power to grant wishes. Alright. Sure.

Candy is almost as terrible as Diddy.

Candy intends on keeping the banana, unless of course Donkey Kong wants to call off the whole anniversary. Donkey Kong declines, and Candy walks away with the banana, telling them that the only bad luck that will come will be the one to anyone who tries to take the banana away from her.

Donkey and Diddy see her off, in distraught. Bluster calls them over to help with getting his barrelcopter out of the cabin, to which the two ignore.

I guess they're still upset over the whole barrel incident.

Candy is then seen walking back to her house, in the jungle, while still grumbling over the apparent curse she has brought upon everyone. General Klump and some Kritters then pop out in front of her, and proceed on capturing her. Fade to our commercial break, and we then join DK and Diddy back at DK's treehut.

Donkey Kong is not sure on what to do about the whole situation. He must get the golden banana back from Candy, while at the same time keeping their relationship afloat. Diddy tells DK to chill out, saying that they'll figure it out eventually.

"Big buddy, just how exactly have you been with this girl for one year? She practically blows you off for every little mistake you do!"

Donkey Kong says that all this talk of bananas is making him hungry. He goes to his fridge and opens it, only to discover that Polly Roger is actually in it, scarfing down on some crackers.

"Bwark! Who the heck keeps crackers in a fridge, anyway? Bwark!"

Donkey and Diddy are less than pleased to see him, and Diddy tells him to go back to King K. Rool. Polly flies out, and says that he has left K. Rool, and is now offering his services to the likes of them. Donkey and Diddy still aren't sure to trust the parrot, and Polly gives out some information. This information being that Candy is being held prisoner at K. Rool's lair, for having the golden banana. Donkey Kong is appalled by this news, and says that it's all his fault for Candy's capture.

Cut to King K. Rool, who is trying to convince Candy to part with the golden banana. What? He seriously didn't just take it? And he calls his lackies incompetent.

Anywho, Candy is not willing to give away the banana, and taunts K. Rool.

Congrats, King. Even the damsel in distress is not afraid of you.

King K. Rool finally decides to send her to the dungeon, and Candy becomes instantly frightened. General Klump goes over to grab and drag her to the dungeon, and Candy calls for help.

Uhh.

Uhhhhhhh...

Donkey Kong arrives just in time to save Candy from her assault. Candy Kong is relieved, the Kritters have fled, and K. Rool orders Klump to do something about it. Klump orders this Kritters to attack, but since they have ran off, Klump can't really do anything.

Since Klump or King K. Rool aren't going to do a single thing about the two, Donkey Kong tells Candy that he'll escort her home. Candy is so pleased by her rescue, that she still wants to go on with their relationship. Cue our second, and well known, song segment.

Donkey Kong and Candy Kong start dancing, while Klump and K. Rool aren't sure what to do about it.

"What? You expect me to get in the way of our scripted musical number?"

This song is about Candy and Donkey's love for eachother. That's all.

Oh, and this quote that just can't seem to go away:

"I'd shower you with coconut cream pies~"

Donkey Kong and Candy ride off in a minecart, with King K. Rool bawling over such love. Klump is also touched, but K. Rool has snapped to his senses, and ridicules Klump on his emotions.

Back in the temple of Inka Dinka Doo, we that DK has returned the cursed relic to it's pedestal. Diddy tells Inka Dinka Doo that they've gotten the banana back, and asks to put the curse on them to rest. Inka Dinka Doo complies, and the two Kongs walks off, since now everyone is happy. Just as they are about leave, however, Polly Roger appears on the scene, and swipes the golden banana right in front of them, telling them he's changed his mind on his whole new leaf.

"You want loyalty? Get a cocker spaniel! Bwak!"

Upon the theft of the banana once more, the idol of Inka Dinka Doo becomes furious. Donkey and Diddy make a run for it, and the temple traps fire up again. Polly Roger makes it out of the temple with the banana.

Joining up with Cranky and Candy at the cabin, everyone is worried over what could happen now that King K. Rool has the golden banana. Cranky goes over to his encylopedia for reference. Candy asks if they are all doomed, to which Cranky replies with the exact opposite response. Apparently, anyone with the golden banana, with the intent of doing evil deeds with it, should beware.

When then see a shot of outside K. Rool's lair, where a giant explosion lets loose from inside.

Yay! The series is over!

Despite such explosion, King K. Rool still seems content with the fact that he has the golden banana. Meanwhile, Klump, Polly, and a Kritter are reusing some voice-clips.

Our final shot is of Inka Dinka Doo, who is quite pleased over the misfortune of the Kremlings, and gives off a sinister laugh, before the show fades to black.

"Inka...Dinka...Doo."

And that's the end of the episode! Nothing much to say about it, really. It has a nice scenario, and it introduces us to the Temple of Inka Dinka Doo, which will have a major part in other future episodes. My only gripes with this episode are the usual problems I have with this show: King K. Rool is incompetent, Donkey Kong is an idiot, Candy is a total crab, and the songs are forced as all hell. Diddy, Cranky, and Polly are pretty decent in this episode.

But enough about that. The next episode is a doozy, starring Bluster the Benevolent!

Season 1; Episode 5: Kong for a Day

Season 1; Episode 5: Kong for a Day

Hoo-Hah! It's time for another analysis on Donkey Kong Country! We move on to episode 5, Kong for a Day, which is probably one of my least liked episodes in this whole series. After I review over each and every episode, only then can I make the sure decision of my most hated episode. Anyway, time to peel out this monstrosity of a cartoon.

We open up to Funky's place, with some disco background music, and all the Kongs dancing around.

Sorry. We spent so much on the motion-capture, we couldn't afford any real dancers.

Oh, and King K. Rool and General Klump are there too, enjoying some refreshments.

Blue-flavored juice! With super swirly bendy straws!

Cranky stops dancing and tries to get everyone to listen to him. The three dancing simians ignore him, while King K. Rool makes off-sided insults. Cranky gets peeved, and tries once more, and it works.

I'm very curious as to why Diddy is underneath Bluster.

Turns out, this whole shindig is actually the Annual Kongo Bongo Ceasefire, or as Cranky words it, a love-fest. Ick. That double entendre.

Cranky has called for this silence to allow Donkey Kong, their future ruler, to speak a few words of wisdom for them all. That is, if DK could stop stuffing his face with bananas.

"I don't have a problem! Honest!"

DK only manages to get a few muffled words out, which confuses pretty much everyone. Diddy interprets it as for wanting world-peace, and to not look down on the Kremlings too much. You probably could've worded that last bit a little better, Diddy. They're right behind you.

Bluster looks upon a stuffed DK, and starts criticizing his leadership role that he was meant to play. Diddy Kong begins defending Donkey Kong, saying that Bluster is only jealous that he will never become the future king of Kongo Bongo. Bluster agrees that he may not be the future ruler, but instead makes a point that he will eventually be the future owner of Bluster Barrel Works. He then takes a jab at Diddy, saying that he is really the only chimp on this Island without any future. Upon hearing the truth, Diddy goes berserk.

Pahah! That was actually good, Bluster. If you keep this up, you'll easily become one of my favorite characters.

Funky reassures Diddy by stating that he also has no future. You know, besides being the sole pilot on the entire Island, and being a pretty good mechanic. Donkey Kong also counsels Diddy by saying that he'll always be his best buddy and sidekick. Kind of not helping, DK, but I like your honesty.

Diddy admits defeat, and tells DK that, although he is quite accepted to the fact that he'll always be his sidekick, that he will never truly be anything more than just that. Sheesh. That's kind of a low-blow to yourself Diddy, but your later actions in this episode still don't make me feel any sympathy towards you.

Cranky goes up to K. Rool to gloat in his face, saying that as long Donkey Kong remains their future ruler, the Crystal Coconut will never be his. King K. Rool tries to detest his claims, but to no avail. Cranky walks away, and Klump questions as to why they are participating in this Annual Ceasefire. King K. Rool tells him that he is using this opportunity to launch a suprise attack on the Kongs, and Klump asks why he wasn't informed about this sortie. King K. Rool replies that if Klump had known, he certainly wouldn't have been able to keep a secret.

"Would someone get this camera out of my face?!"

King K. Rool's plan to conquer the apes this time, is to get everybody to turn against Donkey Kong, so that he will be exiled. Once he's finished explaining everything, Candy Kong appears on the scene, and Donkey Kong lights up from her arrival.

"Sorry I'm late! I had to finish tying up Dixie in the cellar."

With Candy here, King K. Rool is ready to launch his super secret weapon of destruction: A Banana Peel.

"Really, sir? That's it? A cliche gag?"

King K. Rool tosses the banana peel, and Candy slips over. Hah.

Candy Kong recovers from her fall, and instantly starts bashing on DK for making her fall. Okay, how is it Donkey Kong's fault for making you fall? All the Kongs around here eat bananas, so it could've been anyone's peel that you slipped on.

If yelling at DK, for something he didn't do, wasn't enough, Candy actually calls off their little date together, and for him to never call or drop in on her ever again. Jeeze. This might do DK some good, actually. Who needs a high-strung weasel like that?

Yeah, that's right! Walk away! Like a little orange-furred bitch!

Of course, since DK is incapable of having a spine towards Candy, Donkey Kong just faces his un-deserved punishment sorrowfully.

King K. Rool starts chuckling at DK's dilemma, stating that the first phase of his plan is a success. I don't really know about that, K. Rool. I'm pretty sure Candy will get over the whole slip-up in about a day, or about 12 minutes.

K. Rool gets more indepth with his plan, saying that the operation calls for every Kong on the Island to get furious with Donkey Kong, that Cranky is resorted to crowning a new future ruler. Wait, Cranky can do that? I thought the Inka Dinka Idol chose the future ruler. Or the Coconut. Or whatever! I'm pretty sure Cranky can't just decide a new ruler just like that. Oh, but does this episode go against such beliefs.

Since K. Rool knows the only competent ape on the entire Island is Donkey Kong, their invasion plan could be set forth once he's out of the picture. By the end, King K. Rool will deemed the true ruler of the entire Island. A brilliant idea, with too many circumstances needed to actually achieve such goal, but still a very nice plan at that.

We later join Donkey Kong, who is sulking by the edge of the pier, when K. Rool walks over to him. King K. Rool asks if DK is having a nice day of Ceasfire, to which Donkey Kong obviously replies no. DK tells K. Rool that Candy has ditched her, and K. Rool tries to cheer up DK by saying that she'll eventually come around. King K. Rool tells Donkey that he simply needs to get his mind off of her for the time being. When Donkey Kong refuses to comply with his advice, King K. Rool suggests that he goes surfing.

Bubbly-Bubbly-Bubble-Butt

Donkey Kong submits to the idea, and gets his spirits up to go catch some waves. He rushes away to Funky's place, as King K. Rool rejoices over how swimmingly his plan is coming along.

Banana-Transition to Funky's place, we see Donkey Kong all prepped to go surfing with Funky's best board. Funky Kong is unsure of this at first, but ultimately allows DK to use it on account that he keeps it safe. He actually tells Donkey Kong that the board is his soulmate. Kind of weird, but then again, Funky is all-kinds of weird.

"We've bonded."

We then see Donkey Kong set Funky's board on a stand, and DK takes a quick dip into the water. I'm guessing just to get the adrenaline going before he sets out for a wave. While Donkey is out for a swim, King K. Rool and Krusha rush in and are ready to steal the surfboard.

Hey wait a minute, Krusha's back! We haven't seen him since the first episode! He starts appearing in pretty much every episode after this one, and he's always a treat to have, so happies!

Anywho, King K. Rool tries to get Krusha to steal the surfboard, insulting his brain intelligence in the process. Krusha doesn't take to kindly to his words, and refuses to comply unless K. Rool apolgizes. King K. Rool sarcastically pardons his manners, and insults Krusha for being a smarty-pants. Heh.

The two steal the board, and dash off before Donkey Kong has a chance to see them. Donkey Kong comes up from the water, and notices that the surfboard is gone, with a very feeble expression of fraught.

"Oh no."

We fade to black, and open to black, while a reggae lullaby plays in the background. Funky was sleeping, and DK is trying to wake him up. Also, Funky's eyelids are transparent.

That's disturbing.

Donkey Kong wakes up Funky, who falls right onto the floor. He gets right back up, and angrily asks where his board is. Donkey Kong tells him that it's gone, and Funky becomes enraged. About as furious as a mellow surfer ape can become, anyway. Donkey Kong tries to tell Funky the truth, that somebody stole it, but Funky doesn't believe any of it, for whatever reason. Since Funky won't listen to his reasons, Donkey Kong just walks away sadly.

We fade to our commercial break, and open back to Donkey Kong still moping around the jungle, since now Funky and Candy are steamed at him.

Also, we get a silent introduction to our last Kong: Dixie Kong!

The Great Donkey Kong: Reduced to a third-wheel.

Yes, Dixie Kong is in this show. Makes sense, seeing as DKC2 was released not too long before this show went into production. About a year apart, I'm guessing. She also looks much different from her usual game-self. Aside from her pink beret, that is. Her green eyes are now just pure black, like Diddy's, but still retain their circular shape. Her shirt is now baby-blue, rather than pink, with a flower placed on the front; Much like Tiny Kong's dress scheme, who was designed with Dixie in mind, I might add. Dixie also has tanned fur, as apposed to Diddy and Donkey's brown fur. She no longer has feminine eyelashes or earrings, her knee-pads are gone, and her hair design is slightly altered. Finally, her signature ponytail has been massively shrunk to compensate for the animation limitations they had at the time.

As to those wondering on just why It has taken Dixie about 5 episodes to make it into the series, when she's usually part of the major Kong Trio in the games, is because Dixie Kong doesn't have a big role in this show at all. Much like Diddy, she doesn't help Donkey Kong too much, and her appearances are sporadic throughout the series. She will usually be seen accompanying Candy or Diddy, or be in with a crowd from time to time, but she won't have any major roles in any episode, save for one limelight episode later this season. It really stinks that they would leave out her character, but I suppose it does save her from most of the wrath of the writers. She never gets as bad as Candy Kong, but she never develops any personality either. Oh well.

Anyway, back to the plot. Diddy and Dixie try to cheer DK up, by making him realize that they are still hanging around with him.

"Bosom Buddy!"

DK is made content from their kind words, and Diddy then tells them that he has to leave. Donkey Kong then says this snippet:

"I'll walk the rest of the way with

MY

BUDDY

DICKS

"..."

"?!?"

Pahaha. Okay, I get it writers, you want to make some allusion to Diddy's nickname: "Dids".

I mean, for the most part, the nickname kind of works. It rolls off the tongue quicker, and it gets Dixie's name across. Still, people can interpret it as the aforementioned word above. I'm pretty sure the censors today wouldn't allow that for a kids show. But, I digress. If they want to keep calling her "Dix", then fine by me.

I'll try not to think too hard about it.

Donkey and Dixie say goodbye to Diddy, and the two go off. We transition into King K. Rool's Factory, where we see K. Rool and Krusha. K. Rool asks for Krusha's imitation skill, and Krusha follows through, and he does an imitation of King K. Rool. Of course, this isn't the voice that K. Rool had wanted; He instead wanted Donkey Kong's. Krusha understands, and switches voice actors.

"Bananas, bananas, bananas. I've always got bananas on the brain."

King K. Rool is impressed, and is ready to move on to phase 3 of his plan: Alienate Diddy and Dixie from Donkey Kong.

We join back with Donkey and Dixie, who sitting at a log in the jungle.

"Sooo...."
"So....?"
"....Nevermind."

Donkey Kong is still grieving over the loss of his girlfriend, while Dixie ever remains the optimistic. Donkey Kong states that he used to bring Candy over to this spot, and Dixie tries to hearten DK that he'll meet up with someone, someday.

Then, Krusha peeps from behind the tree, and starts flirting on Dixie, all while using Donkey Kong's voice.

Stranger Danger!

Dixie Kong gets freaked out by Donkey's sudden allure over her, and asks why she's hitting on him, even though he knows she's with Diddy. Dixie pouts, and Krusha continues making creepy comments. By comments, I mean he's asking for Dixie to put a lip-lock on him. What the heck?!

And then, this happens:

"Come on. Put a lip-lock on me, Dixie!"

"That chump-chimp Diddy will never know!"

"OH SWEET BANANA LORD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR PUPILS?!"

You see, there are characters like Donkey Kong, and Candy Kong, who have actual functional eyelids. Then, there are characters like Klump and Diddy with blinking pupils, that tend to shrink whenever the expression calls for it. And then, there's Dixie. Dixie has pupils that constantly shrink and grow in size, and it just looks so dang creepy.

Dixie Kong somehow doesn't catch that Donkey Kong's mouth wasn't even moving the entire time, and just gets mad at him. She gets off the log, and stomps away, telling DK that she's going to talk to Diddy about this. Krusha pulls off one last impression, by dissing Diddy to peeve Dixie even more.

"This is rather peculiar. My inner thoughts are much more vocal than usual."

Dixie gets pissed and stomps right back up to DK, telling him that he's probably the worst friend ever, and that he's unfit to be their future ruler. You know, all of this could've been resolved if any of the two had actually looked behind themselves. Oh well.

Donkey Kong is left alone and confused as to what just happened, and we transition back to DK's home. Diddy has gotten the news from Dixie that DK was hitting on her, and now DK is taking the tiny chimp's heat.

Diddy complains that Donkey Kong can no longer be trusted anymore, and Donkey Kong tries to conform with Diddy's issues, saying that he never even wanted Dixie. Diddy takes this an insult and storms away in the elevator.

What the heck. None of the Kongs who got steamed at DK tried to reason with him, or anything! What kind of friends are they? Terrible ones, that's what.

Except for Bluster. He was never DK's friend to begin with.

"Oh, mirror. You're my only friend now."

Donkey Kong is not even sure what to make out of all the Rambi-shit that he's gone through today.

We transition to Cranky's Cabin, where Klump and two Kritters are there, ready to ruin the place. Cranky himself is standing while sleeping, so he won't notice a thing. The Kritters fire their Klaptrap Blasters, and the entire cabin exterior is eaten away.

How many times can you say: "WAKA-WAKA-WAKA"

And to make it so Donkey Kong is the first one that comes to mind, Klump lays down a single banana peel. He and his troops then move out. Cranky wakes up, and sees that his home is ruined. He wonders just who could've done such a deed, and takes the banana-peel bait.

Some time later, Donkey Kong is seen walking to Cranky's, with Diddy still accompanying him for whatever reason. Diddy tells DK that he is not speaking to him, but DK notes that he just did. Then, the two see the damage done to Cranky's Cabin, and the two rush right in to ask Cranky what happened.

Cranky accuses Donkey Kong of this crime, using the banana skin on the floor as evidence. Diddy quickly takes Cranky's side, and accuses DK as well. Donkey Kong actually notes that the banana still has a chunk left in it, which would signify that the banana peel isn't his. Cranky doesn't care, and strips DK of his ruling-rights.

Okay, this is easily one of the worst scenes in this entire series, just for how stupid the entire scenario is, alone. Firstly, Donkey Kong is not the only Kong who eats bananas. It could've been anybody on the island that left the peel there. DK even sees that the banana isn't finished. Cranky and Diddy know about Donkey's large appetite, so wouldn't this come as an oddity to any of them? Secondly, why in the right mind would Cranky just assume that Donkey Kong would want to wreck his entire house? He hasn't done a single thing to DK, and yet he's the first one to blame. How would he even go about destroying his entire cabin, without waking him up? What tools would he have to destroy the whole thing in one sweep? And finally, why of all things would Cranky just exile DK right on the spot? Far as we know, Cranky doesn't even know about all the conflict that DK has been causing around the island. Why didn't he just make him rebuild the whole house? You're throwing away Kongo Bongo's only army, for Squawks' sake!

Seriously, fuck this scene. Too many plotholes, and every Kong on this show is an idiot.

Donkey Kong tells Cranky that he can't just take away his future, seeing as he found the Coconut, and that his face is on it. Cranky opens the Coconut safe, and wouldn't you know it?

IT'S HIDEOUS.

Diddy annoyingly rejoices over his new bright future, and Cranky tells DK that he is banished to the White Mountains, forever. Jeeze! He's your offspring (At least, in this canon, I think he is...), and you're just gonna send him off to die, just because he ruined your house? That's just cruel.

From hero to zero, in less than 15 minutes.

Congrats writers, I genuinely feel bad for our protagonist. Not because he's done anything good, mind you. Heck, DK literally has no backbone in this episode. He just takes all the lashings from every Kong, and doesn't do a thing about it. But no, I feel sympathy for the main character, because every other character in this episode has been a mindless jerkass, DK really is the only character left to root for. That's pretty low.

Donkey Kong mopes out of the cabin, and Cranky pours even more salt in the wound, by tossing him a briefcase.

Banana-Transition to Funky's Flights, where we see Funky ready to haul DK to the White Mountains. Wait, he actually went to Funky? DK really does have no spine in this episode. Funky flies the plane away, and we fade to the White Mountains. Funky literally drops Donkey off, and DK is left lying on the snowtop. We finally get into our first musical number, with DK as the sole singer!

Incase you're not familiar with this show, Donkey Kong has an amazing singing voice actor. He really makes most of the musical segments in this show worth-while.

This song is about Donkey Kong being confused over what he did wrong, and that he's a loser now.

"Depressed Kong, at your service!"

After our commercial break, we join back with K. Rool and Klump, who are pleased to know that their plan actually succeeded. King K. Rool's next action is to raid the Barrel Works. Again? Really? What good does a bunch of exploding barrels do you, if you have Klaptraps that can eat practically anything?!

Klump actually brings up this point, asking why they don't just steal the Crystal Coconut instead, but King K. Rool just says it's all part of the plan.

"We still need to fill up the last 5 minutes of this episode. What choice do I have?"

King K. Rool laughs, and it seems as though Cranky has been spying on King K. Rool this whole entire time. Wait, he can do that? Why doesn't he always do that?

With this opportunity at grasp, Cranky decides that it's time for Diddy to take his position as future ruler, and save them. That is, if Cranky actually had any fate in Diddy. As it turns out, it was Cranky who put Diddy's face in the Coconut! Don't ask how, or when! He just did!

Also, his cabin is fixed.

"Oh no! It's the curse of bad-show design!"

Looks as though Cranky has finally come to his senses, and regrets banishing DK away. We transition to Diddy and Dixie at the log area we saw earlier, with Dixie congratulating Diddy on his new refined status. Diddy accepts all the praise, and Dixie offers a smooch for the new king.

Her face is fucking terrifying.

Just as Diddy and Dixie are about get it on, Cranky appears in hologram form to break it off. Diddy derides Cranky for his awful timing, and Cranky tells Diddy to get his behind to the Barrel Works, as the Kremlings are marching over there as they speak. Diddy idiotically asks why, and Cranky reminds him that he is the future ruler, and that it's his job to save the entire island, even if it means risking your very life. Diddy is filled with distress.

I suppose Cranky just lied to Diddy just then, in the slim chance that Diddy actually does do something about the Kremlings. Spoilers! He doesn't!

We then get into our second musical segement, and it has Diddy singing again.

It's an entire song of Diddy telling us that he really is just a sidekick, and he was not meant for such responsibility. It's really pathetic.

How did Diddy's character go so wrong?

Cut to the Bluster Barrel Works. Bluster is asking Candy for a date, now that Donkey Kong is out of the picture. Candy still declines his offer, and immediately after, Klump and two Kritters appear at the door. The Kremlings are here to raid the place.

Klump, there's something wrong with your left pupil.

 The Kritters fire the Klaptraps, and all the stocked barrels get chomped away. Candy and Bluster run and hide behind the conveyor belt, Candy exclaiming that she wish Donkey Kong was here, with Bluster actually agreeing. Oh yeah, did Candy and Bluster ever catch the news that DK was banished? It's implied that they did, but still.

Klump makes a terrible joke, and Diddy dashes between the him and a Kritter, ready to save the day.

I've probably should've said this in episode 1, but Klump's croc-nipples are disturbing.

Diddy orders the the Kremlings to scram, but Klump isn't phased out at the slightest. I'll give credit where it's due, and give props to Diddy for actually showing up to at least try to save the day.

Klump orders a Kritter to fire at Diddy, and the Klaptraps begin munching on Diddy's feet.

Diddy was then eaten. It was rather gruesome.

Diddy runs outside to flee from the tiny pests, and Cranky shows up, via hologram, and asks what's going on. Diddy begs Cranky to get Donkey Kong back,  Cranky finally gives in, and transports away to go fetch him.

We join back with Donkey Kong, who is still on the same mountain peak.

"I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MEEE."

Donkey Kong is starving for some bananas, and spots some banana trees near a cliff. DK rushes to them, only to go right through them and off the cliff. Turns out, the banana trees were just a mirage. Wah-wah.

Donkey Kong lands in the snow below, and quibbles over the whole mirage, and how his life is unfair. Cranky appears, and tells Donkey Kong to get over himself and come help them at the Barrel Factory. Donkey Kong says that Diddy will surely deal with it, but Cranky snaps DK back to reality.

You know, I'm suprised DK isn't even mad at the slightest. I mean, this grouch just sent you off to die, and DK is just acting like the whole entire thing truly is his fault.

Donkey Kong is unable to comply with Cranky's request, saying that he has been left powerless for haven eaten no bananas all day. Cranky justifies this response by opening the suitcase beside DK, revealing it to be bananas. Of course.

"I wasn't serious on the whole exile thing, anyhow!"

As you see here, Cranky's hologram can interact with physical objects. This actually contradicts a minor plot-point in a later episode, which states Cranky can't do anything in his hologram form. Food for thought.

Donkey Kong is pleased by this, and is goes to eat up. We fade to the factory again, where Candy and Bluster have been taken hostage. Candy asks if anyone is going to actually save them, to which a Kritter declines.

Diddy is still running from the Klaptraps, calling for Donkey Kong's help. Donkey Kong miraculously shows up in due time. Boy, that was fast.

He's bigger! Faster! And stronger too!
He's the first member, of the DK Crew!

The Kremlings are suprised, and the Kongs are overjoyed. Donkey Kong growls towards Klump, while Klump cowers. Donkey Kong simply 'boos' them, and the Kremlings go running for the hills. Well, that was underwhelming.

Diddy has somehow gotten the Klaptraps off him, and he congratulates DK for a job well done. Candy and Bluster cheer him on, as we transition to our final scene at Cranky's Cabin.

"It's not pretty...but it's right."

Cranky has changed the Diddy head in the Coconut back to Donkey's, and Diddy is relieved at having no responsibilty. That he is perfectly okay with being Donkey Kong's sidekick, and to never aspire to be anything more. Great morals, Diddy.

Donkey Kong then goes on about being top-banana, and how he wouldn't be the best if it weren't for the person right after him. Diddy warns DK that his bananas were the entire reason he got in trouble in the first place, even though it technically wasn't. Donkey and Diddy then spout some one-liner that has no relation to entire episode at all, and we pan up to the starry sky and treetops. Fade to black, and that's the end of this episode.

So, yeah. Nobody ever finds out that King K. Rool was actually responsible for all those crimes, Funky is probably still peeved with DK, since his surfboard is probably gone forever. Dixie is probably busy getting a restraining order filled out, and Donkey Kong doesn't have a care in the world for what just happened that day. Who cares that everyone practically wanted me dead for things I didn't even do, when I can just make it up for them in the end! They can't even function without me, so who cares!

This episode was horrible. The next one isn't exactly a big-hitter either.