Season 1; Episode 3: Booty and the Beast

Season 1; Episode 3: Booty and the Beast

Hello again! It's time for another review!

We're heading into episode 3, and it has pirates! This of course is a allusion to the recent-at-the-time, Donkey Kong Country 2. To be honest, I never really come back to watch the pirate-involved episodes. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm pretty sure this episode will give me a refresher.

We open to a scene with a pirate ship, and right off the bat, we get sent into a musical segment.

Hm. Crocodiles.

Introducing some new characters: Kaptain Skurvy, Green Kroc, and Kutlass. They're all pretty one-dimensional, but then again, so is everyone on this show. What you need to know, is that they are pirates, and nothing more.

Oh, and they're all re-colors of previously established characters. Skurvy is Klump, Kroc is Kritter, and Kutlass is King K. Rool

But they have different clothing! That's something!

As for the rock music, it's better than most of the musical pieces on this show. That's not really saying much, though. As for the lyrics, it goes in depth to the background of the Crystal Coconut. What I mean by, 'in depth', is that go a Fundip scoop into it.

We learn that the Crystal Coconut was supposedly once in the hands of Kaptain Skurvy's Great-Great-Great Grandfather, who had hidden the Coconut in the eye of the idol of Inka Dinka Doo, and one day, the Coconut had fallen out, and Donkey Kong found it.

And no, so far, we still don't know who/where the Inka Dinka Doo is. This isn't the episode where we the temple, either. We'll need to down two more episodes before we're introduced.

The crew arrives at the pier, and then we transition to Cranky's cabin.

I don't know what he said.

We see Cranky, inside, who is pacing around, moping about that nothing ever happens to him. That nobody ever calls him, and nobody ever visits.

Maybe if you weren't such a grouch all the time, this wouldn't be an issue. Besides, I'm pretty sure Donkey and Diddy visit more times than needed, since the Crystal Coconut is getting swiped every day or so. Where's Wrinkly Kong in all this?

Cranky gets his monolouge cut short by a cannonball heading right through his door.

If his reaction time wasn't so precise, he would be drinking tea with Wrinkly.

Kaptain Skurvy arrives on the scene, demanding the Crystal Coconut from Cranky. This apparently isn't the first time the Pirate Krew and the Kongs have met, since Cranky goes on to explain that Kaptain Skurvy was seemingly left off on a deserted island, lost at sea, and chomped away by sharks.

A diligent Krock, isn't he?

Skurvy's crew surround Cranky and threaten him for the Crystal Coconut. Oh, and we get our first glimpse at Polly Roger. He's a parrot, who's only with the pirates in this episode, but goes solo for every subsequent appearance. Go figure.

"Bwark! I'm just as annoying as every other character on this show!"

Cranky tries to play dumb, but doesn't convince any of them. Skurvy tries to get him to open the Crystal Coconut safe, and Cranky accidently opens it. You see, the way the case opens, is if Cranky stomps his cane, near-by, three times. You can also open it by a huge impact, but that's beside the point.

Cranky tries to guard the Crystal Coconut, and Skurvy prepares his blaster, but wouldn't you know it! Donkey and Diddy arrive on the scene!

Maybe they shouldn't have left their ship in the most obvious place.

Kaptain Skurvy approaches Donkey (Why?) and suitably gets his face punched in. Then, we get an off-screen pummeling.

Sorry kiddies! We can't afford an action packed fight scene!

Kaptain Skurvy and his crew run off, and then we get a telescope-eye-view of what K. Rool is planning. Klump is set up in a barrel device, who says that it's uncomfortable, and that this whole plan is a risk to his health. King K. Rool pays no mind to General Klump's complaints.

"Who cares about efficiency, when I can have cunning!"

King K. Rool fires Klump towards the Coconut, and he actually manages to successfully capture it. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong are  in disbelief, and Cranky tells them to chase after them. I suppose that's one way to advance the plot.

We then transition to the Bluster Barrel Works, where Candy is working as usual. Bluster comes up to her and tries to flirt, in a very arrogant way. Candy doesn't fall for his silly temptations.

King K. Rool barges in with his gang of Kremlings, with the Crystal Coconut shoved up his arse.

It tastes like rainbows!

Also, Klump and the Kritters slide down. Looks like someone had trouble with panning and the greenscreen.

Whoops.

Bluster gets scared away, while Candy isn't the least bit threatened. King K. Rool shows that he can take over the Barrel Works, by reavealing the Crystal Coconut. Candy is dismayed, and Bluster literally starts to kiss up.

This is pathetic.

Candy Kong actually calls Bluster out on being spineless. Bonus points for her, but that still doesn't make her a good character.

King K. Rool's plan is to stockpile on exploding barrels. First off, wouldn't Donkey Kong just find a way around that? There's not much you can do if you can't set off a barrel within a 3 foot radius. Secondly, WHY ARE YOU NOT USING THE CRYSTAL COCONUT FOR SOMETHING USEFUL?!

I mean, come on! You have the ultimate plot device! I'll just disregard this entire plot hole, and go off the record that King K. Rool is an idiot.

Anywho, King K. Rool orders Bluster to do his dirty work, but Bluster initially resents this. However, with two guns pointed, Bluster is quite alright with labor, and gets right to it.

Bluster is such an on-off character.

After a little time lapse, we see that King K. Rool is getting barrels made, but then just explodes barrels for the heck of it. Okay, this seriously makes no sense.

After a fade to black, we return to Cranky's cabin, with Donkey and Diddy still there. Why haven't they gone to catch King K. Rool?

Because of King K. Rool's foolishness, the Kongs can hear the explosions from the cabin, and that gives them a hunch as to where the Kremlings are hiding.

We join back with the Kremlings, still exploding barrels, as Bluster weeps away at the lost profit. I seriously don't get how the blast radius of each barrel is about 2 feet. Look at this:

He's right in front of it!

King K. Rool shoves Bluster out of the way just to have more fun with the explosions, and then Donkey Kong arrives. He's just having the time of his life.

Seems as though that little explosion fest was just for fun. King K. Rool outright says this to Donkey.

Donkey and Diddy threaten the Kremlings, but King K. Rool decides to use the barrels to create a diversion in order to escape.

I see you, Bluster. Trying to sneak away.
Also, have I meantioned how creepy DK's sharp teeth are?

Klump and K. Rool run out of the factory, and head into a two-locked minecart. They drive away, as Diddy and Donkey Kong get into a minecart of their own to pursuit. That would leave the two Kritters with Candy. Of course, since Candy and the Kremlings don't really have a huge impact on this episode, the writers simply disregard this little side-note.

We see that Bluster in the back side of the dual minecarts.

They head into the tunnels. I do believe this is the first time we see them, so I'll give some insight on them. They are minecart tunnels that stretch across the entire island, all of which are connected to King K. Rool's lair. Convenient transportation, and It does have a lot of uses throughout the series.

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong are gaining on the two, while King K. Rool notes that if they can get back to his factory, they are home free. I guess King K. Rool's lair is actually a factory, but aside from the main room and the golden room, we never really see any of the machines used to build things.

You know, I'm pretty sure It wouldn't be hard to de-attach the two carts. That would certainly slow the Kongs down.

Bluster sees a blaster and gets ready to fire at the two crocs.

"I'm actually more threatening than Diddy! That accounts for something, right?"

King K. Rool and Klump immediately surrender, as Donkey and Diddy are suprised to see Bluster even there. General Klump distracts Bluster and flings the Crystal Coconut at him, causing him to get knocked out of the cart, and letting the gun fall into K. Rool's hands. Way to go, General.

Donkey Kong is still going after them, since I guess they didn't see Klump toss the Coconut, or K. Rool complaining about his loss. With a Klaptrap gun at disposal, K. Rool fires away at DK's cart, making it disintegrate.

Donkey and Diddy have no legs:

Whoops. Rendering error.

King K. Rool and Klump wave goodbye, and that's it for them, and the Kremlings, for this episode. They actually don't have any other part in this episode,  which kind of makes the whole barrel manufacturing scenes look pretty wasteful. They went so in depth with it, and it just gets blown off, leaving a cliffhanger on what happened to K. Rool and Candy.

Bluster runs over to DK and Diddy, asking roughly the same question he asked Candy before, and presents the Crystal Coconut to Donkey Kong. This is actually pretty generous of him, considering the things he does in later episodes. I suppose the writers figured they already wasted enough time dealing with King K. Rool's shenanigans, that they didn't want to deal with Bluster trying to swipe away the Coconut.

Bluster would be pretty likable if he was always this honorable.

Back at Cranky's, Donkey Kong knocks on the door, and Cranky answers. Donkey Kong shows that he has gotten the Coconut back, but Cranky is acting pretty suspicious and fidgety. He tells DK that he doesn't want the Coconut, subtly mind you. Donkey Kong, or Diddy, doesn't take the hint, and they start going off about secret passwords, and they do a silly dance.

How can my son/grandson/daughter be this dense?

The reason for Cranky not telling DK to come in, is because Kaptain Skurvy's crew actually came back and is holding Cranky hostage.

We now return to your regularly scheduled plot.

Cranky still insists on DK going away, but is backed away from the two, and they get trapped. Skurvy holds Cranky hostage, and forces DK to put the Coconut down. Kutlass takes the Coconut, and the three run off.

Looks as though our two heroes have to get the Coconut. Again.

We transition away to Skurvy's ship, which has already set sail. How did they leave so quickly? I'm pretty sure they can't run that fast, compared to a Gorilla and a Tailed-Chimpanzee.

Kaptain Skurvy can now conquer the seven seas with the Coconut hand. Speaking of which, what kind of world does this show take place in? It's implied that it's a world filled with talking animals, but we never see any other location aside from Kongo Bongo Island. Bummer.

After a commercial break, we see Funky's plane high in the sky. Donkey and Diddy are in pursuit of Skurvy's ship, and are currently eyeing out for it. Donkey tells Funky that they're right below it, and Funky drops them off right then and there. That's a bit reckless, Funky.

With any luck, DK will land on Diddy and break his neck.

Also:

Camera full of awfully rendered Donkey Booty.

Funky seems to realize what he just did, but disregards it and flies away. What the heck? How are DK and Diddy supposed to get back?

The two land on the ship's deck, unscathed, as they notice that nobody is on deck.

"I think I have splinters up my arse, little buddy."

Kaptain Skurvy and his shipmates suprise them, and surround them. Skurvy makes a hypocritical statement about hating pirates, and asks his mates for suggestions on what to with to the monkeys.

Kaptain Skurvy succumbs to a long execution for the two, and he and Kutlass do a little jig.

"I'd join in, but I don't know this dance."

We see that they didn't even bother putting up a fight, and they are now trapped in barrels.

Donkey Kong seems quite pleased with this turn of events.

Diddy tells Skurvy to let them go, and Skurvy agrees to do so, once they reach shark-infested waters. Kaptain Skurvy and the crew leave the two alone. We see that Kaptain Skurvy has a large pile of bananas around for no reason. I'm pretty sure the Kremlings don't eat bananas, and neither should the pirates, considering they're the same species.

This obviously won't have anything to do with the plot.

Donkey Kong struggles to get free, saying that he's out banana power. Upon saying that, we hear and see from beside the banana pile, a Klaptrap, who points out the very obvious pile of bananas.

Donkey Kong asks the Klaptrap if he can chomp them out of the barrels, but he cannot, due to having no teeth. Instead, he has the key to the barrel locks, and offers them a proposition. In sing form!

He's only in one other episode, thankfully.

This Klaptrap is named Junior the Giant Klaptrap. As his name suggests, he is a unusally big Klaptrap, and he had his teeth taken away by Skurvy, due to his fear of him eating his ship. Junior offers DK that he'll let him go if he promises to get his jaws back from the crows nest.

He lets DK go, without his word of agreement, and Donkey dives into the pile of bananas and starts chomping away. Diddy is set freed, and he agrees that the two of them will help Junior get his teeth back.

Donkey Kong bursts open the doors, and is ready to rumble with Skurvy and his shipmates, while Diddy does the pee-pee dance.

"Use urine as artillery!"

Donkey tells Diddy to go right, as he'll go left. They do so, and Kutlass chases for Diddy, while Green Kroc chases for Donkey. Green Kroc gets the lights punched out of him, while Diddy begs DK for his assistance.

"Being useless isn't working!"

The two go around the mast of the ship, as Junior spectates. He actually calls out Diddy for not doing anything, and gets set flying from a conventiently placed rope and weight. Wouldn't you know it? He actually lands in the crows nest.

After chasing Diddy some more, Kutlass gets faced by Donkey Kong, and gets punched out.

Punched the camera so hard, his knuckles clipped through.

We get a distanced shot of unseen pummeling, and the two seem to have wrapped up things. However, they have forgotten about Kaptain Skurvy, who has prepared a cannon right towards them. He fires the cannon, and the ball goes bouncing around, until it lands in the crows nest.

Shortly after, we see the cannon ball shot out of the nest, and to Skurvy's feet, chomped away like an apple. Junior has gotten his teeth back, and he proceeds to eat away the entire ship.

He also the ability to divide himself into three.

The ship sinks down, and we transition back to Kongo Bongo, at sunset. How they managed to swim all the way over here, is another mystery left unsolved. Makes you wonder how far Skurvy actually got away from the Island.

Kaptain Skurvy and his two shipmates have been left marooned on a little island not really far off from Funky's Flights. The camera pans to Donkey and Diddy sitting by the edge of the pier.

I actually like this shot. The camera shifts to it pretty well.

"Will Donkey-Senpai notice me-uguuu?"

Donkey and Diddy comment on their little sea adventure, and Junior the Klaptrap approaches them. DK is worried that he's in the mood for seconds, however, Junior claims that he isn't hungry at the moment.

Not yet, that is.

Just wait until King K. Rool steals your chompers, Klaptrap.

After some maniacal laughter, we fade to black, and that's the end of the episode!

This episode left a really sour taste in my mouth, and after analysing it, I can see why I don't usually come back to this episode. It's just a game of cat-and-mouse the whole way through. The plot is too jumbled up to make any sense of this story, and most of the episode just drags on until we finally reach the 2 minute climax. Something tells me they really wanted to just make a plot revolving around Kaptain Skurvy and pirates, but they couldn't find any way of advancing the plot to reach the big showdown. This episode is a mess, and the other pirate episodes aren't too great either, from what I remember. However, If I were to say one thing good, it is that nobody was too annoying in this entire story, besides maybe Diddy.

Also, if you found Bluster redeemable in this episode, just wait until the next one. Hoo boy.